'They will expect you to be the family piggy bank': Entitled in-laws expect DIL to pay for everything after receiving inheritance

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
May 25, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

Wealth makes people move differently, as this woman found out in an unfortunate rift with her husband's side of the family. 

Everyone wants money, and they can never get enough. You always need more and more cash, especially as the cost of living goes up. But you can't just demand it from people, even if they are significantly more wealthy than you are. 

This woman's in-laws did just that — they not only demanded their DIL's money, but randomly expected her to pay for an entire meal for their family. The OP shared that since she's received an inheritance due to her mother's passing, the family around her have been treating her differently. They're acting like she's entitled for not funding their lifestyle! Her husband is also treating her like the family piggy bank, and wanting her to fund basically everything he does. 

In the comments, helpful Redditors pointed the OP towards divorce proceedings and mentioned how she could protect her assets — hopefully after she finds kinder friends and family to surround herself with. 

Click here to read about one entitled mother who demanded a seat on a metro, and swiftly regretted her demands. 

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  • 01
    Green - Secretary of the Treasury. Copa Bumatates his Treasurer of the United States. Ez MLL L12 SOFAM 00 I noticed my husband constantly bringing up the inheritance money... he expects me pay for nearly everything' 100 FEDERAL RES WF 74840463 SDRED DOLLARS THE ML 428 Charl MUNED STANDS OFAMERICA THIS NOTE IS LEGAL TENDER FOR ALL DEBTS, PUBLIC AND PRIVATE JULY 4, 1776. Americ
    via Avinash Kumar on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - r/AmItheA · Posted by u/MirandaAddison13 2 58 57 AITA for silently getting up and walking out of the restaurant during NYE dinner after I was told to pay for everyone at the table (my inlaws)? Not the A-hole I f32 recently inherited a good amount of money from my mom. I keep the money in a seperate account as I still haven't decided what to do with it and I didn't want it to go to waste.
    via u/MirandaAddison13
  • 03
    Font - I noticed my husband constantly bringing up the inheritance money and making countless suggestions as to how I should spend it. Another thing is that he expects me pay for nearly everything the past couple of weeks.
    via u/MirandaAddison13
  • 04
    Font - For NYE, My husband and I met up with his family at a restaurant to celebrate. It was going fine until I found out that I was expected to pay for everyone at the table. My husband's mom joked about paying for dinner out of my " inheritance pocket" which made me livid but I showed no reaction. Just silently paid for my own food/drinks. Then got up and made my way out of the restaurant. They were shouting after me like a crowd and my husband tried to get me to come back but I drove home.
    via u/MirandaAddison13
  • 05
    Font - He got back at 3 a.m yeling at me saying I was pathetic to get up and walk out on him and his family after they relied on me to pay for their food and thougt I was gracious enough to do it BUT they were wrong. He said I humiliated him and family and that what I did was an attempt to get back at them for not being able to help mom when she was sick. Not true is all I'm gonna say.
    via u/MirandaAddison13
  • 06
    Font - He is mad and is saying that I caused a huge rift between his family and me when it wouldn't have hurt me to pay for the celebratory dinner. AITA?
    via u/MirandaAddison13
  • 07
    Font - ElectronicRub1716. Colo-rectal Surgeon [46] NTA. But please see a lawyer asap. After this trick your husband is likely to divorce you to go after your inheritance; make sure your affairs are legally airtight so he can't touch it.
    via u/ElectronicRub1716
  • 08
    Font - kikivee612 Inheritance isn't typically considered a marital asset. Husband will not benefit by divorcing OP. No matter how you look at it, he's not entitled to it.
    via u/kikivee612
  • 09
    Font - FLmom_Report4590. A ΝΤΑ Enthusiast [9] No one ever has the right to expect someone else to pick up the tab, especially if it wasn't agreed to up front. This causes two problems... 1. Let's say for argument sake that you WANTED to treat. But their expectation/dema nd of you treating literally robs you of the joy of picking up the tab. No likes being forced.
    via u/FLmom_Report4590
  • 10
    Font - 2. Say you begrudgingly just paid. Now you're setting a precedent of constantly being used and they will expect you to be the family piggy bank. Your inheritance is no one's business. You don't owe anyone anything. Your husband and in laws are shameful.
    via u/FLmom_Report4590
  • 11
    Font - Life_Is_Good199 Parta pant [4] ΝΤΑ It is time to speak to a good lawyer and get that money into some type of trust that he cannot touch in the event of divorce. Simply having it in a separate bank account is not sufficient to protect it in a divorce settlement. His behavior is not healthy or supportive and it seems like he and his family seem entitled to your inheritance. This is not a good situation. I hope you can work through this but still protect your money just in case.
    via u/Life_Is_Good199
  • 12
    Font - Apprehensive_Ad_5246 Enthusiast [8] I have no idea what country OP is from, but in most--if not all- -Western countries, this is her separate property, and the husband is not going to be awarded it--or any part of the inheritance--in a divorce, under any A circumstances. Keeping it a separate account--which the husband cannot access--is likely sufficient protection.
    via u/Apprehensive_Ad_5246
  • 13
    Font - majesticgoatsparkles. & 6 More Certified Proctologist [28] NTA and OMFG your husband and ILs are such AHS. • Inheritance is not your husband's. Full stop. He is an AH for trying to get so involved in how you spend it. • Inheritance is certainly not your IL's. Full stop. They should keep their mouths SHUT.
    via u/majesticgoatsparkles
  • 14
    Font - • You are grieving and only have an inheritance because your mother died. I bet you would gladly give the money back if it meant having your mom back. • When you are grieving, anyone acting remotely excited about spending your inheritance basically risks coming across as a heartless AH. "Hooray, we have money to spend because your loved one died! Yay for me!" They are all insensitive AHs for acting like this.
    via u/majesticgoatsparkles
  • 15
    Font - Who RELIES on someone else to pay for anything (from inheritance or other money) without that being agreed upon beforehand? Either they are ridiculously entitled, or your husband told them you would so they expected it...or possibly both. AHs all around. I think you handled this very well. You could have caused a scene. Instead you quietly left. Contact a lawyer and make sure your inheritance (and other assets) are protected from your husband. And consider whether this is a relationship s
    via u/majesticgoatsparkles
  • 16
    Font - Glitter Voldemort. Certified Proctologist [21] NTA. Your husband and in- laws are attempting to capitalize on your mother's death. Keep the inheritance. Ditch the people who think you're a walking ATM.
    via u/GlitterVoldemort
  • 17
    Font - CrystalQueen3000 Prime Ministurd [427] ΝΤΑ It's not their money, they don't get a say in how you chose to spend it. Your husband should be embarrassed that his family are entitled freeloaders.
    via u/CrystalQueen3000
  • 18
    Font - Kmia55. Partas pant [1] They act like you won the lottery and not buried your mother. I'm sorry for your loss.
    via u/Kmia55
  • 19
    Font - rainyreminder Pooperintendant [58] NTA. Your husband and in-laws fed around and found out. Time to see a lawyer and a financial advisor and tie that money up so he can't touch it.
    via u/rainyreminder
  • 20
    Font - ParsimoniousSalad. Sultan of Sphincter [812] NTA and maybe you should keep on walking. That inheritance is yours, not your husbands or his family's. He in particular seems uncomfortable that you have the freedom of your own money to spend. Don't let him control you. EDIT: And so sorry for your loss.
    via u/ParsimoniousSalad

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